rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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