I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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