Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
