Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
