Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
