Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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