She went from zero to smokin in five shots
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
