yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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