Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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