Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
