were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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