please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
This baby is an asshole
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
