Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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