why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Also, beer. Big fan.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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