Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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