erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
