I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
