Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize