HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
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You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
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with great strapon comes great responsibility.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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