half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
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Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
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I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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