Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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