She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
