I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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