so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
