I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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