This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
