I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
