He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
