Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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