i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
