Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize