The maid of honor just puked.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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