I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm at about main and main street
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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