My room smells like vodka and shame
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize