We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I think my moral compass just broke
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
