she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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