I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My ATM looks so different sober.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
