yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
