It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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