she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
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hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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