thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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