I CAN MOONWALK!
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
