yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
