took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
