I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
