so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
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Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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