I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize