how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Who wears a wallet chain?!
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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