Dignity is for republicans.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
