oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
