My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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