Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
