Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize