that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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